Plant Medicine Integration

During my first ceremony, I connected to an immense feeling of joy. I felt childlike and playful. I realized that I did not allow myself to feel this way in my day-to-day life because I took things too seriously. I felt the difference between how I tended to be and what was possible. The more I sat with plant medicines, the more I discovered about myself. I felt like I was meeting myself for the first time. I connected to universal feelings of love and compassion and realized these are essential qualities of who I am. I saw that the way I thought about things with my mind was often comically off base. I started to get really comfortable with being able to laugh at and forgive myself for how I acted when I didn’t know any better. I felt my entire being start to soften. Simply put, plant medicines showed me how I was getting in the way of myself. I took these lessons and started to integrate them into my life. I began to notice when my thoughts were critical or fatalistic and, recalling what I learned in ceremony, I’d flip the narrative. I observed my reactions to situations and looked for what I could learn about myself from this. Eventually, the micro changes I made in real-time transformed how I showed up in the world. I didn’t have to make as much effort to shift my thoughts because I was developing new patterns. I created a new operating system for myself. At the same time, the more I connected to myself, the more I realized that the life I wanted looked very different from the life I had. I got to a point where I knew it was time to make a change. I knew nothing was guaranteed, but I was confident in the practices and tools I developed, which sustained me through a massive transition. I decided to leave NYC to focus on my learning, deepening my relationship with plant medicines, starting my own coaching practice, and moving to Ecuador to manage a plant medicine retreat center.